Month 4 Realizations

In Mental Health & Addictions - Justine by JustineLeave a Comment

I have been in school for roughly 4 months now. I want to let you into my world a little bit and share what it’s really been like for me over the last few months. The raw real truth, not just a “oh it’s so fantastic “or “it is a piece of cake”. I can only share with you what it’s like for me, but not what it’s like for everyone else. Since I have been in school I have cried more times than I can count, sometimes it’s due to over exhaustion. Sometimes it because I know exactly how it feels to walk in the shoes of the people we are learning about, possibly even because I couldn’t imagine going through some of the things I’m learning about. I have cried tears of frustration, tears of anger, tears of panic but most of all I have cried tears of joy. 
 
The day I got my first A I cried so hard. I was so amazed that my exhaustion and hard work had actually paid off. There has been many times since I started school that people have had to tell me to breathe because I’m so worked up. There are moments when I feel so overwhelmed  the option of giving in and giving up seems like a good idea, but then something happens that make me want to keep going one more day, something happens that restores my hope for a better future. The hope for a life I never in a million years imagined I could have. I have had courses where I thought I was not going to make it to the end and then the day would come when it was over and I could sigh and say “I did it”.  I have panicked over tests and projects to find I did better than I gave my self credit for. I know it’s been only a few months but my life has already changed, I will never be the same person I was at the start of this journey. 
 
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One of the greatest gifts I am taking from this program is what I am learning about myself, I have learned I am stronger than I ever give myself credit for, I never give up even when I feel like I can’t take another minute. I’m a very intelligent young woman with the brightest future ahead of me. The biggest thing I have learned though is that I have been through more than I ever even realised and that I’m okay with that. I wouldn’t change my life journey for anything else even if I could. 
 
This program is not for the faint of heart, I know that now, but if you’re like me, you can still see the beauty of this world of the people in it even among all the chaos and heartache. You can see a person’s true raw potential and you just want to show someone they can succeed at changing their own lives and the lives of others then take a chance on a rewarding future like I have. Even on my hardest days I know that I made the right choice, I know that I’m on the path to success, and I know some day very soon I will be one breath away from the future of my dreams. I will be a step closer to closing this chapter and starting another. For my fellow students who are on this roller coaster with me I want to say to you, don’t give up on your dreams no true success comes without hard work, perseverance and sometimes a struggle or two. To anyone checking this out thinking you might be interested in school. Do it. I could bet my last dollar you would be making the choice that will for ever change your life. 

 

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